oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Two words: nipple clamps
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