im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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