I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
