Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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