is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
