i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
