Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
