in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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