yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
