I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
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