In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
