I got chris browned last night
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize