I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
be right there i have to get my cape
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
