it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
