I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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