I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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