While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
