I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
