New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
