I love black thongs
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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