Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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