So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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