I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
