we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Houston, we have a squirter
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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