Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
