i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
