I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
