how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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