Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
How many fucks given?
0.12846
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
