it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
