I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
