He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize