brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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