So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
not ubering you a puppy
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
