You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
That's intense
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Randomize
