First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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