addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
