My nipple is on Facebook.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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