Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You've changed since you got that strap on
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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