I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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