I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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