I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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