you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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