she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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