Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
