Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
