We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
