summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
