i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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