Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
