hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
