i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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