Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
