just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
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