How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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