what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
