some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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